Wanna hear a new song?

You know what?  I think this might actually work!  I just discovered muziboo.com, which allows me to upload music onto their site and then post my audio files onto my blog so you can click on them and hear songs!

Honestly I think "muziboo" is sort of a lame name, but since it does such a cool thing I will forgive them.  :)

The chose to call this place "Em's Living Room" because I want it to be a place where I can play songs for you and have you sit and enjoy them--and have it feel like I'm just sitting at my piano singing and you're just sitting on my couch listening.  Let's see if it feels like that.  :)

So here is my newest song!  It's called "More."

A week or so ago my husband and I spoke and sang together at a conference about home and visiting teaching.  (This is a program in our church designed to help us minister to each other, by assigning each member to care for a few other members by visiting them in their homes each month and trying to find ways during the month to be helpful.) 

My dear friend Jane Gray wrote up some of her thoughts about this subject, and I used many of her ideas to write this song. Normally I wouldn't use the word "casserole" in a song, but this was written for a very specific event and audience, and it just worked.  Enjoy!

More

More than a name

More than a number

More than a visit, More than a report

More than a lesson or a call

More than a casserole

Or a little note

His Love is more…

More Simple

More Important

More Lasting, and everyday more True

More Still, More Divine

            So much more Beautiful

            More Wonderful

His Love is more…

Endless, Matchless, Priceless, Boundless

Limitles

Fearless

More Trusting

More Knowing

More Smiling More Feeling, More Finding

More Joy, More Hope, More Peace, making everything

            More Beautiful

            More Wonderful

His Love is more…

My Indiana Trip!

Wow, what a fun fun weekend.

Remember the song that turned into this video and this project?

Well, I got to go to Indianapolis and hear a stake youth choir sing it!  I didn't take nearly enough pictures, but I'll give you what I've got.

This is Marie.  

She's the one who had the grand idea.  She saw the video of me singing the song on youtube, and envisioned her stake youth choir singing that song, arranged for a choir.  So she facebooked me and asked me if I could change it from a solo into a choral piece and notate the music so her youth could sing it--and we talked on the phone and e-mailed back and forth to coordinate all the details and then finally got to meet face to face last Friday!  She did an amazing job directing and inspiring her choir to give it their all and do an incredible job. I love that woman!

So on Friday night, I went to the youth choir rehearsal and got to hear 90 voices bring the song to life!  Marie let me jump in and we worked together to smooth any rough edges and then I shared some thoughts with them about the song and  our connection to those who have gone before.  At the end of the rehearsal, I sang the solo version for them and then got to hug and chat and laugh with all those awesome youth.  It was so neat to feel their enthusiasm for life and for the gospel and for the song.  I feel like they really gave a gift to me.

Then, on Sunday, they performed it and I got to sit back and revel in what I felt like was a little miracle.
I've heard it said that "with God, all moments are present."  I caught a glimpse of what that means when I sat back and listened and realized that

THIS

had turned into
THIS

(double click on it for full screen view!)

(this was the rehearsal, not the real thing, which of course I did not record...)

As I heard those youth sing, all moments of this entire process were present for me.  The initial stages of writing the first version, the first performance, the idea to make a video, the process of shooting it, putting it on youtube, connecting with Marie, and then gradually piecing together how all the different voices would come into play and spending long hours notating and making revisions and notating and making revisions... All of that just became one moment--the same moment as sitting back and hearing 90+ teenagers sing what had before only really existed in my head. And in the end, whatever toil or struggle or frustration that was part of the road just sort of faded away into the beauty of the crowning event, and all I could feel was joy.

I think maybe I can look at my entire life that way.  I imagine that God views me like an arrangement in its early stages--with great potential, but a lot of rough spots that need to be re-worked and edited... But He will work with me patiently, for as long as it takes, and one day sit back and feel joy in seeing who I have become.  And in the end, whatever mistakes I made, whatever hard things I had to endure, will just fade away into the beauty of getting to be where He is.  That feels true to me.


So, in addition to some unforgettable musical moments, I also got to spend some time with several dear friends from the 4 years that we lived in Indianapolis.  We laughed ourselves silly and just got to re-connect and be together!

"Reserved for the Superstar of the Month"

How did they know to save a parking place for my friend Tiffany??

I love that she came and held my hand while we cried through the performance. 

 Okay, and let's just pretend that I also have a picture of Candace and Whitney and Ami and Marty and all the other awesome women that I loved loved loved getting to see!!!!!

And let's also pretend that I have a picture of me flying on an airplane all by myself--reading, and then napping, and not juggling 6 bags and 2 children.  :)  That was pretty fun.

So, that's my story.  I've got to go start plotting my next arrangement...  !!!

"So how's your diabetes?"

This is a question people ask me a lot. I appreciate their concern and interest in my life, but I still haven't figured out exactly how to respond. 

"Uh, like a roller coaster?"

"It depends on which minute of the day, and which day of the month."

"Well, this week, on average, over 25% of my readings were higher than my target range, and about 18% were lower, but I had some in the middle so can't complain, right?"

So for anyone who has ever really wanted the answer to that question, here's my best response:

See why it's hard to give a quick answer?   This shows about a month of blood sugars, with highs and lows just about every day.  Blood sugar is always changing, and is affected by food, insulin, stress, hormones, exercise, and lots of other things.  So look at that and you tell me--"how is my diabetes?"  :)

But cool graph, huh?

I just got a new glucometer that is a USB.  So I put a test strip in one end every time I prick my finger to check my blood sugar, and there is a cap on the other end that covers the USB connector. When I want to see neato charts and graphs of my blood sugars and try find some pattern or rhyme or reason to the craziness, I just plug in my meter and pull up all the charts.  TECHNOLOGY!!!

This is just one week at a time.  Doesn't it look like it could be a constellation?  That's what I'm going to do next time I'm star gazing--I'll chart my blood sugars in the sky.  Ha!

 

Wouldn't it be cool if we could see a graph like this for every area of our lives?  Physical fitness, spirituality, organization, focus on certain relationships, etc.  I try really hard to stay organized and I like my life to fit into compartments and feel neat and tidy, but the truth is, life is always changing and always moving!  It's pretty incredible to me how many layers of life we are able to manage all at the same time, while each element is going up and down and all around.  I'm grateful, with all those layers of ups and downs, to have an Anchor.

Ether 12:4 --"Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God."

"Sure and steadfast."  

Even with 100's of different kinds of graphs fluctuating all around. 

I know that is possible.  I've felt it.

So, I sing with the angels:  "Glory to God in the highest!" 

John Denver, The Muppets, and Broken Organs...

So I was listening to "John Denver and the Muppets" Christmas album in the car with my kids today.  

Those songs are so fun.  

In between the verses of "Silent Night," John Denver tells the story/legend of how the song was written. He explains that on December 24, 1818 Joseph Mohr journeyed to the home of musician-schoolteacher Franz Gruber and asked him to add a melody and guitar accompaniment to his poem of Silent Night. The story goes that the church organ was broken and so they needed some other form of accompaniment in order to sing the song at Midnight Mass.  Well, Franz Gruber was able to come up with a melody and a guitar part, and later that night, they,  backed by the choir, stood in front of the main altar in St. Nicholas Church in Oberndorf, Austria, and sang "Stille Nacht! Heilige Nacht!" for the first time.  

And 180 years later, it is sung in different countries and languages all around the world, as a message of love, joy, and brotherhood.  

I was thinking today about the significance of the broken organ.  What if the organ had just worked like it was "supposed to" and they had just done their usual thing that night?  Maybe that song never would have been written.  It's hard to think of Christmas without "Silent Night," isn't it?  I bet they didn't have any idea, when they were fretting about how to fix the organ, what an unimaginable impact their new song, written as a solution to their problem, would have on the world for centuries to come. 

As I pondered this, thoughts came to my mind of other broken things. Broken expectations, broken relationships, broken faith, broken health... and I wondered how we might be surprised if we could see the future impact of the way we overcome our broken things.  Whatever it is that's broken has a way of channeling us toward something else, oftentimes leading to a solution or a joy that we never could have imagined. 

So, if you feel like you have a "broken organ" right now--have faith.  Keep looking for a new way to approach your responsibilities.  You might need to think outside the box.  You might need to find a friend who can help you.  And, you might be lead to something incredible because of it.  

K, the end.  

Do You Have Room?

Tonight, I got to sing a neat song called "Do You Have Room?" as part of a church Christmas program with storytelling and music.  My song came right after a story about a little boy named Wally who played the part of the innkeeper in a Christmas pageant, and when the night of the performance came, after he turned Mary and Joseph away, he couldn't bear to see them walk away so he shouted, "Wait!! Don't go!" and said, "You can have my room."   And then I sang about having room for the Savior and choosing to be humble as a shepherd boy and wise as men of old and come and seek the light the way they did.

Great video of a great song, written by Shawna Edwards!  (not me singing, but the same song I sang tonight)




I really do love to sing.
I love the things I learn when I memorize and internalize a meaningful song, and its message simmers in my spiritual crock pot for the weeks before the performance.
I love the tangible connection I feel with the listeners, as we experience the song together and I try to transfer the meaning from my heart to theirs.
I love when I can see people cry, or nod, or smile, as the music lifts them.
I love the way I can shake hands with a stranger after a performance and feel like we are friends because of what we shared during the song. 
I love the way I feel the power of God working through me as I sing and testify of His Truth.

So in this season of giving thanks and giving gifts, I am thankful for the gift of music!

 And thankful that we got to go to California, and that we got our tree up and did a million other things over the last few days since we got home.  Unpacking, though?  Um, maybe I will do that tomorrow.  :)   I've been saying that for a few days now...

The Wedding Song...

I had a shirt in college that said:

"Music is life. The rest is just details."

Wouldn't it be great if that were still true?

Maybe I should have a shirt that says:

"Cleaning up messes is life. The rest is just details."

Ah, but there is so much joy associated with all those messes. And all that laundry. And those dishes. And potty training. :) My cute kiddos are worth all the work.  But life now is definitely different than those college days where I spent every waking hour either practicing, performing, being taught, being in class, or doing homework related to music. 

Anyway, amidst the craziness of traveling with two small children over Thanksgiving, (!!!) there were some musical adventures along the way, so I thought I would share one of them.

My brother, Zach, got married in San Diego last Saturday, and oh what a beautiful day. What a radiant couple. What a sublime experience in the temple where they were sealed together for time and all eternity. What fun to remember our wedding day and think about the things that are different and the things that are still the same. My husband and I sang a few different numbers at our reception, and my brother and sister also sang a song that Zach wrote, called "Don't Dream Too Small." Zach had interviewed Kyle before the wedding to get some good fodder for writing a song for us, and Kyle shared that our relationship was even more than he had hoped for, and said "I dreamed too small."

So in Zach's song, in the first chorus, about Kyle he says:

"I dreamed too small,
I'd have taken mountaintops 'stead of shooting for the stars
I was building my own world, and that's when boy met girl
And changed it all
I never knew till I met you,
I dreamed too small"


the 2nd chorus is about Zach realizing that he had been dreaming too small too, until seeing the two of us together,

"I dreamed too small
I was thinking mountaintops 'stead of shooting for the stars
Now I wanna build my world so that when boys meets girl
I'll be ready for it all
I never knew till the two of you
I dreamed too small."

And then the final chorus, his wedding day message to us:

"Promise me you won't dream small,
Don't stay on mountaintops when you were born for stars
They say, you're just one boy, one girl
Who cares? Go change the world!
Go on, change it all!
You start building it today,
so don't dream too small."


What a great song.  That was a neat gift to us.  So of course, as Zach's wedding approached, I wanted to write a song for HIM--but as I remembered back to that song, I realized that I wanted to say the same thing to him about shooting for the stars, as well as follow up on some of the funny things in the verses about him wondering who would sing at HIS reception and things like that.  So I ended up taking his original song, and changing some of the words so that it fit exactly for him, and then my sister and I sang it at the family wedding dinner the day before he got married.  We wanted it to be a surprise, so we didn't want to ask him for a chord chart or anything, and we didn't have any kind of a recording of it--just the words from my wedding album--so it turned into kind of a fun creative project to see how much of it I could remember (from my wedding day!) and then make up the rest however I wanted to.  It turned into "Variations on a Theme of Don't Dream Too Small."  Then, when I realized that once my sister and I met up in California we wouldn't have access to a piano until the night of the dinner, I recorded the song into my iphone as a voice memo so we could practice with it in the hotel and teach her the changes, get her ideas, and figure out harmony and stuff.  We ended up singing it for the first time together, with a piano, as the real thing. Ha!  But it was perfect.  And in the language of love called songwriting that Zach speaks so well, the gift was given and received.  I love the way music can say so much!

So someday we need to record both versions so we can have them forever and share them!
Someday.  Meanwhile, I need to unpack!

The Sheet Music Project.

Remember this song? 

It's called "True to Their Song."  It's a combination of 3 pioneer hymns: Come, Come, Ye Saints, True to the Faith, and Carry On.

Here's its life story:
I originally wrote it last year for a Stake Youth Fireside in Indianapolis, where they announced the upcoming pioneer trek the youth would be going on.  I sang and played it as a solo as part of the fireside.

This past summer, I found a BYU-Idaho communications student who was willing to video me singing and explaining the arrangement.  We put a few slides as part of the video and put it up on youtube to celebrate pioneer day!

Then, a month or so ago, a woman from Indianapolis saw the video and felt that she really wanted her Stake Youth Choir to sing it.  She contacted me and asked if I would be willing to arrange it for her choir.  I felt really good about doing it so I said yes.

Then I...
-went to sleep each night hearing in my head the possibilities of what the different voice parts would sing
-concocted the new vocal parts
-entered the piano part into my computer (using FINALE) through my keyboard
-tediously edited the piano part on my computer (which takes FOR-EV-ER)

-entered in the vocal parts, made some changes
-had my husband sing it with me and give me feedback
-made some more changes
-made about 100 mistakes trying to enter all of the lyrics, (which hopefully is a foundation I have now laid for future arrangements and won't have to make them all again)
-had my husband and good friend sing through the rough draft
-entered in dynamics, breath marks, and other particulars
-agonized over the page layout, changed things, changed them back, made a few irreversible mistakes,
-prayed hard,
-and ultimately ended up with a final draft!

Then, miraculously, I figured out how to
-make a pdf of my finale file
-upload it to my file server on my web site
-and link it to my website.

Whew!

So what that means is that you can now download and freely copy this arrangement by going to my homepage and clicking on the link.  (well, I hope so, at least.  I'm crossing my fingers that it will actually work. In fact, let me know if it doesnt.)

 Sally Deford calls notating music "a chore rather akin to cultivating your garden with a teaspoon."  I think she's right. And yet, it has been exhilarating to get this song into a medium that I can share!  I am thrilled to be heading to Indianapolis in January to hear this arrangement come to life as I direct the Indianapolis North Stake Youth Choir in singing it. 

Exciting stuff.  And yes, I'm already plotting future projects.  Now that I have the technological groundwork laid, I'm hoping it will only get easier from here! 

stay tuned for more?!...