Time Out For Women Rocks.

Here are a few reasons I loved Time Out For Women this weekend!

1)  I woke up, got ready, was aware of the sunrise, and left the house at 7:00 am.  Quite out of the ordinary for me, and quite refreshing.

2)  I got to have great chats with great friends, with no interruptions!

3)  I got to put aside chores, meal preparations, and taking care of big needs of little people and just soak in messages of hope.  I left with a greater hope that Someone who is smarter than I am is ready to help me do the things He has asked me to do.

4)  I pondered the idea that Peter, when the Lord beckoned him to come walk on the water, may have expected to walk right out of the boat and directly to the Savior.  He may not have expected the whole thing to be so difficult. Sometimes I have false expectations too.  (Like I expected that maybe by now, 3 weeks before dental school graduation, we would have a job and a place to live.) The last few weeks I have felt a little storm-tossed.  I didn't realize that this little walk from the boat of dental school to the next stage of life would be so...windy and wavy.  But I don't need to be afraid.  I don't need to sink.  I need to beg Jesus to reach out his hand and catch me.  And trust Him, and come to Him.

5)  Kyle called me around lunch time, because Ethan was missing me.  Ethan had said,  "it's just not as fun when mom's not home."  During Ethan's turn on the phone, all I could hear was Jake in the background saying, "I wanna talk mama!  I wanna talk mama!"  And then he was feeding me little pieces of play dough through the phone and saying, "mmmmm, it's Doo lushy! [delicious]."  I told Ethan I was gone because they were teaching me how to be a good mom and that I would be home soon.  :)

6) I loved Chieko Okazaki's idea that no matter how tight our budget, we will always have an unlimited supply of smiles and prayers, and we should give them out freely.  She also said, "I have learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes.  After that, you better know something."  Hilarious.

7)  I had an epiphany about "give us this day, our daily bread."  I kind of like the Lord to give me about a month supply of whatever I'm sure I need, and show me how it's all going to work out, so that I can relax and know that things are taken care of. But if we really trust Him, and can rely on Him, we will be okay at times to just get our daily bread today, and then ask for it again tomorrow. Obviously planning for the future is great, but sometimes (i.e. for me RIGHT NOW) we need to put the future in HIS hands, and trust that He will take care of us each day as we ask, daily, for him to guide us.


8)  I got to tell Michael McLean thanks for writing "Hold On the Light Will Come."
 

My sister died when I was 14.  In the years that followed, there were a lot of dark times where I did a lot of holding on.  "Hold On The Light Will Come" was one of many songs that lifted me up and gave me peace as I navigated through high school and tried to put my life back together.  As I heard him play that song on Friday night, I was flooded with memories of times I had listened to it, crying so hard I couldn't breathe--trying to keep believing that the light would come, and keep believing that I could somehow hold on just a little bit longer, just a little bit harder.

"The message message of this moment is so clear, 
And as certain as the rising of the sun
When your world is filled with darkness, doubt, and fear, 
Just hold on, hold on, the light will come...
Anyone who's ever tried and failed
Stands much taller when the victory's won
And those who've been in darkness for awhile 
Kneel much longer when the light has come."

As he sang, I realized that it had been true.  I held on, some days just because Mike told me to, and the light came.  It came here and there, little by little, day by day, year by year.  And now, as the open gaping wound has dissolved into a scar that is much, much, less painful, I feel like I have come through the darkness.  I feel like I do kneel much longer, much more deeply, than I ever would have learned how to otherwise.
I was overcome by the realization that I don't even really know Mike (well, my Dad was in the same boy scout troop as him for a few years, if that counts for anything...) and yet I feel like he is an old friend because of all the things his songs and I have been through together.    :)

So that was fun.  I had the thought this weekend,
"you know, I don't really know where all of my songwriting adventures will lead, and I don't really know how many people will ever even hear my songs.  But if I could touch even one person's life, through music--if I could give even one person the real hope, the promise that light will come at the end of their darkness--it would all be worth it." 


Okay, so 8 reasons that I loved Time Out For Women. That's kind of a random number, huh?  Not 5, not 10, just 8.  Well, I didn't really plan it out.  But 8 is just fine.  And now it's [past] time to sleep.