When joy comes out your eyes.

Okay, confession.

I cry in the car when I listen to music.  I do.
Sometimes I cry because the song is sad.
Sometimes I cry because the song is so beautiful.
Sometimes I cry because the song is so AWESOME.

Basically, when I hear truth, it resonates with my soul, and it comes out my eyes.  :)

Today, I cried while listening to "100 Sing-Along Songs for Kids." 

Yep, true story.  But don't worry, it wasn't "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," or "BINGO," it was a jazzy little Christian song called "I Shall Not Be Moved."

Rockin' out a little, and watching my boys in the rearview mirror, as they focused rather intently on learning the words and being able to sing them just right, it hit me:

"What if they really could learn this?  This is what I want for them.  And they're singing it right now!!"

When my burden's heavy, I shall not be moved.  When my burden's heavy I shall not be moved...
If my friends forsake me, I shall not be moved.  When my friends forsake me I shall not be moved...
Just like the tree planted by the water, I shall not be moved.

I thought, "Yeah, I wanna be like that tree planted by the water!  And I want my boys to be like it too!  And man, what would the world be like if every one of us decided to ground ourselves in truth and not be moved, no matter what?!"

And those thoughts, combined with the rearview mirror snapshot of little legs and heads bopping, well it tugged at my heart and the whole thing came out my eyes.  And I felt joy.   :)


Here's a link to the sample of the song if you want to hear it...
Let me know if it makes you cry. Ha ha.

Look Up.

Well, I've thought a lot over the past few years about who I am as a person, who I am as a songwriter, who I am as a singer, why I've undertaken this whole musical adventure, and what I really hope to be able to say to the world through my music.

I'm still formulating this, but I think I might have a mantra for life--for how to find God, and thus find JOY.

LOOK UP.

Someday this will turn into a song, but here's my preliminary brainstorm about it:
  
When God gives me sunsets, friends, ideas, innocent little eyes, or quiet moments, I can look up to Him and say "thanks."  I'm so much happier when I'm grateful!

When things go wrong, when I'm confused, when I'm scared, when there are too many voices and I can't figure out which one is right... I can spin myself into a frenzy looking around, or I can just look up, and ask Him for peace.  

When I look down too much, at myself and at my own problems, I feel grumpy and ugly and friendless and inadequate.  When I look up, God helps me look around and see people all over the place who could use a smile or a hug or a kind word.  I feel happier when I look up.

When we overvalue earthly things--power, fame, material possessions, etc. it makes us look down and lose focus on what really matters and what will really bring us joy.  Looking down on fleeting, earthly things, fill us with darkness.  But if we look up, focus on things that last forever, and keep our eye single to His glory, we will be" filled with LIGHT."

It's easy to look around, and play the comparison game.  I feel yucky and prideful if I label myself as "more organized" or "more healthy" than so and so, and I feel insecure and defensive if I label someone else as "prettier" or "smarter" than I am, so it's pretty much a losing battle either way.   Don't look around to find your worth.  Look up. Zion is where everyone looks up to God and tries to be like HIM, instead of everyone looking around and somehow grading their eternal progress on a curve.

I think looking up means learning to see God in the details of our lives.  Seeing a brand new flower.  Hearing a child giggle.  Dealing with a whiny 4 year-old and understanding that I have acted this way toward God so many times.  Every little experience can teach us something new about God if we just look up.


Regret looks back.  Worry looks around.  Faith looks up. 

Like I said, preliminary thoughts.  But I'm going to keep pondering this. 

What do you think it means to Look Up?

New Year De-Cluttering and Moses 1:35

Happy New Year!


We cracked down today and combed out over 6 garbage bags worth of stuff to take to Good Will. It feels great to simplify and just get rid of things sometimes, doesn't it? We will be moving once Kyle finishes dental school in May, so we decided to get ruthless about throwing things away. "If it's not worth storing it now, finding a box for it in a few months, filling that box, getting that box on a truck, hauling that box across the country, getting that box off the truck, unloading that box, and finding a new place for that item--then let's get rid of it now."



I am amazed at how much stuff you can accumulate in a lifetime! You think, "where did all this stuff even COME from?!" Yet, I can choose any item out of millions in my house and I can tell you why we have it and how we got it.

1. Little black socks: My son and I both got tired of trying to inch on his tight Sunday socks, so we bought some slippery dressy ones. He can get them on all by himself! I planned the purchase, went to the store, put them in my cart, paid for them, got them home, took off the tag, washed them, and found a place to keep them.

2. Fondue Pot: Lovely Christmas present from my husband. Came with a recipe book and 8 fondue forks. Filled it on New Year's Eve with a fabulous cheese fondue. (What do you get when you combine 2 incredibly nasty smelling cheeses with one normal cheese, some cornstarch, and some white grape juice? A delicious dip for bread and veggies!)

3. Old, broken laptop: Got as a high school graduation present from my parents. Used it through college, and it has been sitting in my closet for 3 years since it crashed. (Learned today that a friend can take it to his work and wipe the hard drive for us so we don't have to worry about a hacker getting it out of the dumpster and stealing our identity)

And of course, the list goes on forever. I have shirts, shoes, toys, appliances, books, jewelry, cleaning supplies, etc. And I can tell you exactly how and why (well usually) I have it in my house.


So, what does that have to do with Moses 1:35? Well, I was reading tonight about Moses and how God shows him "the world..and all the children of men which are, and which were created." I can't even fathom how many people that is. I can't even get my head around how many people live in one city, no less an entire country, a whole world, and then all that were and will ever be born. How can God know me personally if there are more than billions of others? How can He care about me, and be involved in the details of my life, when I am one grain of sand on the beach?

That's why I love verse 35: "And there are many [worlds] that now stand, and innumerable are they unto man; but all things are numbered unto me, for they are mine and I know them."

They are mine, and I know them. I understand that! I have innumerable amounts of stuff even just in my house, but all the things I have are mine, and I know them. I know the purpose of each item, and I took great care to purchase it for a unique reason so it could enrich our lives, help us accomplish things, and bring us joy. My son could never keep track of everything in our home and know where it goes and how much it costs or understand why we have it or what it's used for. (He can barely keep track of his 15 ninja turtle action figures!) So as I multiplied that all out,in the equation where I'm the little kid and God is the parent, I started to grasp a little bit more fully how it could be possible for God's creations to be innumerable to man, but for him to say, "all things are numbered unto me, for they are mine and I know them."

That was a neat thought for me. And the coolest part about it is that we're not just socks, or fondue pots, or old computers to the Lord. Each of us is his CHILD. We're not just a rusty old knick knack in a storage bin somewhere in his closet. We are his CHILDREN!
So many things come into clearer focus when we remember that. Of course I know my sons' names. Of course I know what that they need. Of course I know how they learn the best, and I care what they struggle with, and how to help them. And of course I don't do everything for them just because I can, because I want them to learn how to do it for themselves.
So that means that my Heavenly Father knows me by name, He knows what I need, He knows how I learn the best, He knows what I struggle with, and He is constantly devising creative ways to help me learn new things. So I can learn how to be like Him.

"All things are numbered unto me, for they are mine and I know them."

He knows me. He knows you too. :)