If I Could

You know that feeling, when someone you really love is going through something awful, and you wish you could do more to help?

That's what this song is about.

When I wrote this song several years ago, I had recently become a mother and was watching someone close to me struggle through some really hard things. My days were filled with bathing, wrapping, and feeding my baby, sweeping floors, wiping up and wringing out messes, and getting up in the night to comfort and dry tears. I realized how much I wanted to do these same things, spiritually, for my friend, and felt so helpless that I really couldn't. Wiping up spit up suddenly seemed easy and so un-complicated compared with trying to wipe up confusion or doubt on someone's heart.

Over the last several years this song grew up. Some of the lyrics have changes, and it went from being called "I Can't" into "If I Could," as I've understood better how the Savior's arms can reach even where ours can't, and that He really can and does comfort us and bathe us in hope and love and peace.

So here it is:


If I Could |

If I Could

“Well hi…” “Oh hey, I know it’s really late--”
I said “Well yeah, but I’m here anytime, I’ll always answer when it’s you”
And then you told me the unthinkable
My chest got choked, and I wished that none of it were true

“Talk to you later…” and that’s when I fell apart
Collapsed to my knees, and tried to breathe…
Crying, pleading,
I wish that I could give you what you really need, and

If I could, I’d bathe you in hope
I’d wrap you in wholeness
And feed you peace
If I could, I’d sweep away every doubt
I’d wipe up the confusion
And wring out disbelief
I’d run to you tonight
And make your demons cower in the light
If I could…

Spinning… Searching through a thousand words
I’m trying to find a way to catch you just in case you drop
Your whole life is bleeding,
And all the world’s band-aids can’t seem to make it stop (but)
 
Chorus

But He can. He can bathe you in hope
He can wrap you in wholeness
And feed you peace
I know He Can, He can sweep away every doubt
And wipe up this confusion
And wring out disbelief
And I pray He’ll run to you tonight
And make your demons cower ‘cause He is The Light

If I Could…