Sweet Dreams: A Shout Out To All My Co-Writers...

Sweet Dreams

Sitting on the counter, little eyes dreaming bright
“I’m gonna be on Broadway, Mom! You’ll see my name in lights!”
And she lifted me so high that of course I couldn’t see
Sometimes mothers have to give up dreams.

Kneeling by the bedside, middle of the night
This is hardly Broadway, and I’m running out of light
Then not harsh, and not loud, just whispering all through me
“Sometimes mothers have to give up dreams.”

Peering in the bedroom, little eyes fast asleep
But I’m the one who’s dreaming, just to watch them breathe
And lullabies by nightlight are the only songs I need
Sometimes mothers have the sweetest dreams.

Sometimes mothers have the sweetest dreams.
-Em (and Zach!) 6/27/08



It's hard to think of what I wouldn't give up for these guys...

















To really give appropriate credit to everyone involved in the writing of this song, I would have to mention at least 5 other people, so here goes:

-Thanks, Jenny Philips, for saying "Sometimes mothers have to give up dreams" in a panel in a songwriting workshop. That set it all in motion.
-Thanks, Holle McRae, for sitting by me in that workshop, looking at my scribbled, tear-stained notes of the concept, and sharing with me your thoughts about Broadway lights vs. nightlights.
-Thanks, Zach, (my awesome brother) for staying up half the night with me to stand by the piano and say, "Okay, just play what you have so far," and helping me package what I was trying to say, and brainstorming with me what it feels like when the spirit talks to you until we came up with "whispering all through me" and helping me condense my thoughts into a song form. I will remember that forever.
-Thanks, Jake, (my cute little then 1 year-old!) for waking up when I went into my mom's computer room at 4 am to type up the lyrics, and for letting me hold you and just savor being with you, until the missing line, "lullabies by nightlight are the only songs I need" settled into my heart.
-Thanks, Mom, for waking up the next morning in your pajamas (that said Sweet Dreams on them!) and listening to the almost finished version of the song, crying, and then helping me come to "she lifted me so high that of course I couldn't see."

Sometimes songwriters have the coolest friends. :)

The Change: Singing With a New Voice

The Change

How with all I’ve seen can I keep making these mistakes?
And why with all I know do things keep turning out the same?
Every time I fall I come so close to giving up
So I just keep on trying harder--but will it ever be enough?
I keep trying to believe that I’ll get there someday but sometimes I just don’t know
I want to sing the song of redeeming love but I’ve forgotten how it goes…

I wanna feel the change
I don’t want to want to want sin anymore
And at that day I wanna look to Him
With clean hands and a heart that is pure
I wanna feel the change
I wanna sing with a new voice
He’ll you open my eyes and give me new sight
Make the dark disappear as I awake to the light
His grace will replace all my wrongs with what’s right
And I’ll start to walk in the newness of life…
And feel the change.

So I finally see what all my weaknesses have shown,
That I’ll never ever make it if I try to do this on my own,
Now on my knees I come to you with all I am,
And I’m begging you to mold me with those firm but loving hands.
I let go of my pride, surrender my will and put all my trust in you
I place my heart at your feet and my life in your hands…will you make me someone new?

I wanna feel the change
I don’t want to want to want sin anymore
And at that day I wanna look to You
With clean hands and a heart that is pure
I wanna feel the change
I wanna sing with a new voice
Will you open my eyes and give me new sight
Make the dark disappear as I awake to the light
Will you replace all my wrongs with what’s right
So I can start to walk in the newness of life…?
And feel the change.

-Em 12/1/01



I studied music in college. I had an incredible private voice teacher/mentor/choir director who taught me as much about life as he did about music. During one particular voice lesson, he mentioned to me that "some people come to me and say, 'I want to take lessons and learn how to sing' but they don't really want to sing with a new voice. They don't really want to give up their old habits and trade them for a new voice. They may want to be better, but they don't really want to CHANGE."
That turned into a fruitful discussion of both vocal and spiritual significance, as we discussed the importance of surrendering ourselves to the Lord and allowing him to not just make us better, but to CHANGE us.

As I learned to sing with a new voice in college, it required daily persistence.
I kept a journal where I recorded how I practiced, things I wanted to get better at, things that I struggled with, ideas from my classes that might help me, and techniques that really worked for my voice.
My voice lesson each week was an important opportunity to talk about my progress with my teacher and let him teach me more.
I enjoyed listening to fellow classmates perform and getting feedback from them about my own singing.
Joining my voice with other singers in a choir helped me to solidify the things I was learning about breath support and artistic expression.

I realized, during my college experience, that the process of learning to sing with a new voice really is a lot like spiritually learning to "walk in the newness of life." (Romans 8:4). It is a process that requires daily persistence.
Keeping a journal of goals and struggles helps me see where I've been and where I want to be.
When I pray and read the scriptures I'm checking in with the Master Teacher, showing him how I've progressed, and asking Him to teach me more.
We're all classmates in the school of life, and we can help each other learn to "sing" as we relate our experiences from different teachers and different classes and share what we've learned.
And, I think that going to church edifies us spiritually in the same way singing in choir strengthens us musically--you join with other people you love, to offer up your hearts to God. You don't all have the same strengths, you don't "sing" exactly the same way, but when you combine together there is a synergy that brings everyone involved to a higher level. Sometimes when I sit in church, I picture God standing in front of us, spiritually conducting our hearts, beckoning us to all follow him together. The more we focus on Him, and learn the way he communicates to us, and unify together, the more beautiful music He can create, with us as the instruments in His hands. (or sometimes, we can totally miss the point and just wrestle wriggly children, not focus on Him at all, and sing our own, off-key spiritual solo. I've totally done that!)


Anyway.


I did write the lyrics to this song, but most of the concepts came from "verses" that I didn't write. Thank you to Nephi, Alma, and Paul, for their contributions to the words. :)


2 Nephi 4:27--"Why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul?"

v. 31--"O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?"

v. 34--"O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever."



Alma 5:7--"Behold, he changed their hearts; yea, he awakened them out of a deep sleep, and they awoke unto God. "

v. 9--"...and their souls did expand, and they did sing redeeming love..."

v. 19--" I say unto you, can ye look up to God at that day with pure heart and clean hands?"


Romans 8:4--"Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life."


So what's YOUR metaphor for this mighty change?

Simmering Song Ideas...

Okay, so if this really were my real living room I would want to brainstorm with you about the song ideas I have right now and see if some profound thing you say ends up being the perfect line for a new song. Plus, you'll probably teach me something really cool if you share something.

I'm working on a song right now called "Jericho." The point of it is that there is ALWAYS a way to get through even the hardest things. Whether you get sent a trumpet and a pair of shoes, or a slingshot and a little rock, there will always be a way to get over walls and defeat your giants. So I want to know:
What are some of the incredible things God has sent to you to make an unexpected solution to your problem? In other words, what are some of your "slingshots?" When you've looked up at what seems to be an insurmountable, looming challenge, what ended up being the thing that nailed it between the eyes?


I'm working on another song called "Savoring" (or maybe "Savoring today," or something like that)
I would love to know:
What do you savor most in life? What do you miss most about a past time of your life that you don't have right now? What do you do to help yourself live in today and not have too much focus on the past or on the future?


Well, maybe a song will be born from something you say, or maybe we'll just have a neat little uplifting discussion here in virtual livingroomdom. Either way, thanks for sharing! Can't wait to read what you say!

Love Em

So Why a Living Room?

Because, Living Rooms are where it all happens.

I would absolutely love to know how many hours I have spent in my parent’s living room at the grand piano—hours playing scales to that pesky metronome, hours playing duets with my sister, hours singing Broadway songs with my Dad, hours looking longingly out the window and then back to my practice timer, and hours gathered around the piano as a family practicing musical numbers or Christmas carols.

 That living room is where I wrote my first song.  And where I recorded it onto a cassette tape with a huge silver boom box.  And where I sang it for my family.  And friends.

I loved sharing songs with people I love and then just talking and talking about the meaning of life. 

There have been several times lately, where I will have someone over to practice a musical number (an accompanist, duet partner, or whoever) and after sharing great thoughts about the music and the meaning of life, we get off on various tangents, and as we lose track of time and it gets later and later, we hear a cell phone ring:

“Honey, are you still alive? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. We’re just, er…finishing up. I’ll be home soon.”

That’s what happens, I guess. You come into my living room and then you get sucked in. :)

When I’m with friends in my living room, we share music, and then we share thoughts and ideas and experiences, and sometimes we laugh and sometimes we cry. Then we hug and they go home-- Well, first we stand up and keep talking for awhile. Then we get closer to the door and keep talking a little longer. Then we chat with the door open while we freeze, and keep saying we need to go to bed, but talk just a little bit more--and THEN they go home. And we feel happier for a few days because of what we learned together in my living room.

So, this is my virtual living room. Come on in and make yourself at home.

Stay for awhile and let's chat. (Actually let me just talk your ear off and never let you get a word in edgewise—but if you were actually in my real living room I promise I’d let you do half the talking!)

If you want me to play you a song, go download my album real quick and then come back and pretend that you are sitting in my living room, listening. (You can find it on itunes or Amazon)

You can ask questions, make comments, or share your ideas too! Enjoy your stay! Glad you came!